Household Budget Sabotage
by Deborah Seeber
One of the biggest problems with maintaining a household budget, is when a spouse does not help maintain that budget with you. Whether it is by overspending from habit, or in spite, sabotage of your personal budget needs to be addressed between the two of you, or your budgeting will never succeed.
Household Budget Suggestions
The first suggestion is to be sure you have both talked through your home budget together and are in agreement with it, including the sacrifices you both will be making, and the benefits you will both derive from maintaining a good sound budget. Make sure you set reasonable short and long term goals that you can both work toward. This will help provide positive reinforcement through the times of sacrifice.
Secondly, work together. Reinforce each other's strengths in your financial relationship. And provide support to each other to overcome your weaknesses.
Household Budget Tips
Never take a "You did" "You said" "You always" "You never" approach to any discussion with your spouse. Use non-threatening language, and voice tones, that bring forth the spirit of cooperation and trust you have with each other.
If you can both agree to fully discuss your finances, and your personal feelings, without anger and resentment, and to listen openly to the views and feelings expressed by your spouse, then you have a great opportunity to not only reach your financial goals, but to also strengthen your marriage.
Instead of... "You always buy things we don't need that aren't in our budget..." try "I feel lost and overwhelmed when you buy things we haven't planned for in our budget..."
Another option to try, is an allowance for both of you, within your household budget guidelines. Neither has any say how the other spends their allowance. But, once spent, no more allowance until the next allowance payment date that is set in the budget. Even if that means no lunches at work! Keep in mind, allowances need not be equal, but should meet the basic needs of each person in the relationship, with a little extra to give them the opportunity to tuck away a little for something special.
Getting Your Household Budget To Succeed
Remember, cooperation and commitment from both of you is needed in order for your household budget and financial goals to succeed.
Make sure your spouse is included in all stages of creating and maintaining your household budget:
- Discuss and agree on short and long term financial planning
- Work through other underlying issues, as well as money issues, together.
- Strive to keep anger and resentment out of your discussions in order to work toward mutual goals
- If you need marital counseling to help in this, don't be afraid to seek qualified help in your community. To ask for help when needed, is a sign of strength and cooperation, not weakness.
Remember, marriage is a relationship of commitment and sharing. And both of you need to work together to succeed in meeting your financial goals.
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